Done that? Okay.
John has a new box and he's stumbling around, trying to get the feel of it. He didn't have a problem with husband, it was a lot like -- but not exactly like -- being a steady boyfriend.
He will be a father. Or he thinks he will; in canon, John Watson lacks children. And, most of the time, he lacks a wife too.
So the start of His Last Vow, I think John was trying hard to persuade himself that a good father-to-be couldn't be running amok solving crimes. He'd not spoken to Sherlock in a month. Which angers Mary, and me too. Really, John! What were you thinking?
Skipping ahead, yes, John is pushed away. Although I personally think Sherlock was extremely clever -- and callous! -- to get engaged as a backdoor into burgling... that definitely helps John feel distant from him.
"You're not like me. You're not normal. People don't do that!" -- you can nearly see the thought balloons popping over John's head.
It is not the act of a typical person. John had just been trying to come to terms with Sherlock -- SH! -- having a girlfriend.
And as usual, John sees but does not observe.
John still has a lot of pent-up anger at SH for the whole cover-up, remember. For not trusting him with the truth.
If John was honest with himself, he'd remember that when it was Irene's life, he immediately blabbed the truth on his blog. She had killers after her, she said. This is no different.
Apparently it has never occurred to SH to tell John that killers were after John, Mrs Hudson, and Lestrade. Another time they both let each other down. 8(
Yes, it was awful and morally wrong of SH to lie -- to not tell John he was alive. And yet at the same time, it wasn't. It was perfectly justifiable.
Looked at as an equation (if I tell John, he won't keep the secret, he'll die, they'll all die) it is very logical. "I knew you would keep my secret," Irene says to Sherlock.
And she's right, Sherlock would have. Getting him to tell you things is exceptionally difficult -- unless he's showing off.
So here is SH, trying to rescue one person via burglary, and then finding that it's all got more complicated. That his vow has come into play.
John has forgotten a lot about Sherlock Holmes. He hasn't lived with him in two years. He has instead lived with his memories of Sherlock for two years; and his grief, and his anger.
Sometimes those become more real to you than anything else.
Sherlock has forgotten, perhaps, about John's temper. [I'd say John might need a bit of anger management, but hey, maybe that's also the grief and other things.] What else has Sherlock forgotten about John Watson while SH was living in his memories?
Two sociopaths in his life. One that John married. One was his flatmate. What made John decide to accept Mary again, once he found out who she'd been? Did he ever read the flash drive?
I don't actually care if John did, you see. But Sherlock's not the only one who regressed. John regressed too. Sherlock was alone for two years, with only his memories.
Mrs Hudson was right to slam the biscuits. John has been a d!ckhead just as much as Sherlock has. Problem is, no one's called him enough on it.
I think John hasn't let go of the past enough yet. Part of him is still grieving, not only for the Sherlock he lost, but for the team that they were. For what their life was.
And it's hard to adjust to major life changes. Marriage, a friend coming back from the dead, future fatherhood... OTOH, it's not all John's fault that he's failing to adjust. That he needs time.
Do they have time? I'm not sure they do.
Sherlock stole them some time, back in the Tube. But you can't force epiphanies on other people. You might manipulate them into telling you their feelings.
"You were wrong. You got it wrong."
"A bit. It won't happen again."
And you'll still guess the fortune cookies too, Sherlock. You sneak apologies into statements like that -- or you did. Now you're able to apologize straight up. But you can't help it that sometimes you say things and you don't make it clear that you're layering them into other discussions.
"I spoke to you. At the grave."
"I was there."